


Help from a Friend

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: First Time, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-12-17
Updated: 2002-12-17
Packaged: 2017-11-01 04:48:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/352091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark is worried that he'll always be a virgin. Lex offers to help him out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Help from a Friend

## Help from a Friend

by TMar

<http://tmar.za.net/slash/>

* * *

Disclaimer:  
The following is written for the private entertainment of fans. No infringement of any copyrights held by anybody is intended. This story is not for profit. The author makes no claims on the Smallville characters or their portrayal by the creation of this story. So there. ;) 

Author's Notes:  
1\. This is my first "proper" fanfic in something like three years. I've written plenty of other stuff, including about forty Due South and Sentinel slashfics, but this is my first attempt at writing Smallville. 

2\. There's a scene at the end of the story which is a homage to a scene from one of my favourite Sentinel stories, "The Surrogate", by Annabelle Leigh. 

3\. This story has not been beta-read; however, it has been proofread, edited, re-read and spell-checked (and I let the spell-checker change all my British spellings to American ones). Any strange punctuation choices in the story are there on purpose. :) 

4\. Feedback would be greatly appreciated. 

* * *

**HELP FROM A FRIEND**

by T'Mar 

"I'm going to be a virgin my whole life!" Clark Kent sat down heavily on Lex's leather couch as he said it, wishing he could have some of whatever Lex was drinking. It didn't matter what it was, he just wanted this... this feeling to go away. 

"What are you talking about, Clark?" Lex asked gently. Funny, that: Lex was always gentle with him. Even when he'd accused Clark of lying about the accident, he'd been gentle. Measured. 

Clark rubbed his hands over his face. "I'm sixteen, Lex. Most guys my age have... done it already." 

"'Done it', Clark?" Lex was smirking. 

Clark never knew whether to want to hit Lex when he did that, or smirk as well. He settled for sitting back and sighing instead. "Had sex," he clarified. 

"These things happen in their own time," Lex said. It sounded like a platitude. It was a platitude, and Clark had heard enough of those from his father. 

"Were you a virgin when you were sixteen?" 

"I was never a virgin, Clark." 

Clark sat up, brows furrowed. "What do you mean?" 

"Not in the way you mean. I drifted into sex so casually and under the influence of so many recreational pharmaceuticals that I lost every kind of virginity there is before I was fifteen, and can't remember half of those encounters. There were enough sycophants, servants and their sons and daughters around to keep me entertained." 

"Like Amy?" 

"Amy?" 

"You could have taken advantage of her, but you didn't." 

"Yeah, well, when I was experimenting, they were usually older and wiser than me." Lex laughed; it sounded slightly brittle. 

"Wiser?" Clark looked skeptical. 

Lex acknowledged the remark by smirking again. He refilled his drink then went over to sit next to Clark. "So what happened?" 

"When I was dating Chloe, we both agreed that we weren't ready to be... you know..." 

"Having sex, Clark. They're just words." 

"Yeah, having sex. But now I feel like I'm ready, and Lana said she was, too, and then..." 

Clark shut his eyes as if the memory pained him. 

* * *

"Clark... Clark, wait." Lana struggled out of Clark's grip and sat up. The barn was quiet, the only sound that of their harsh breathing. Lana moved to put some distance between herself and Clark. "I don't think I can do this," she said. 

Clark felt stricken. "But... you said..." 

"I'm sorry." Lana got up off the couch. "I thought I was ready, but I can't do this." 

Clark sat forward, not threatening her with his presence. "Are we not going slow enough? I can wait." That was a lie; he got hot and bothered \- not to mention hard - every time he thought of doing this with Lana. Waiting was no longer looking like an acceptable option. But what choice did he have? 

"I'm not ready." 

"Lana..." 

"No, Clark, listen to me. I don't feel like I'll be ready for a long time." 

"That's not what you said when you were infected," Clark said, then immediately wished he could take the words back, because Lana backed up, her pretty face slack with disbelief. 

**"WHAT?"**

"I... never mind." 

Now Lana was in his face, looming over him as he sat there. "You told me I didn't say anything embarrassing to you!" 

"It doesn't matter." 

"Yes, it does, Clark. What did I do?" 

A vivid image of that sexy red underwear appeared in Clark's mind. And he told Lana exactly what she had done. And what she'd said. 

"You wanted me then. You came onto Lex. _Lex_. And suddenly you're not ready." Clark knew he was whining, but all these years of having a crush on Lana, of wanting Lana, of _almost_ getting Lana, and now, when he was so close... "It's not fair," he said. "I've waited." 

Lana stepped back, looking almost disgusted. "That's all this has been? You've been wanting to get into my _pants_?" 

"No. You know that isn't true!" 

Lana headed for the stairs. "You know, Clark, I was going to offer to break up with you because I didn't think it was fair on you to make you wait. Now I'm breaking up with you because you turned out to be the same as all the rest of them." And she fled down the stairs. Just before she reached the door Clark heard, "Hope you're proud of yourself." 

* * *

"She's a tease, Clark," Lex opined. No question, Lana was unbelievably, almost supernaturally beautiful, but everything always had to revolve around her. She had to be in control. And letting Clark take the initiative in making love to her would have been giving up that control she so craved. Whereas Lex would let Clark have control, if only... 

Lex stopped that thought before it could finish forming. Clark was his best friend. Clark hadn't come here to be hit on; he'd come here for support. Lex looked back at Clark to see those green eyes studying him closely. 

"I suppose you're going to tell me that there are other fish in the sea," Clark said. 

"Something like that, yeah." 

Clark got up and paced in frustration. "Maybe for you. You can have any woman you want. But me... the only girls who ever liked me were Chloe and Lana." 

"It's just frustration, Clark. Your right hand still works, right?" 

Clark stopped and looked at him like he'd grown a third eye. "What?" 

Lex sighed. "A little 'self-love' should suffice in the interim." 

"Masturbation doesn't help, it makes it worse!" Clark burst out. "It makes me want more. I feel... I just... I need more, Lex. No matter how many people I save, a part of me still feels like a kid. I'm always going to feel like that as long as I'm a virgin. I don't want to be a virgin anymore! I just don't!" Clark flopped onto the couch beside Lex, his outburst apparently done. 

"Clark, what I'm about to suggest is illegal, but I could arrange for that not to be the case. I know some very skilled ladies in Metropolis who would relieve you of your virginity." 

"For money." Clark almost sneered the words. 

"Everything costs, Clark, whether you pay with money or in another way." 

Clark rubbed his eyes again. "I can't break the law that way." 

"Well, then, I also know some who'd do it as a favour to me. No money involved." 

"No, Lex." 

Lex took a deep breath, unable to believe what he was about to suggest. It wasn't like Clark would take him up on it anyway, so what was the harm. He'd put it out there just in case. "Then let me help you." 

Clark just raised an eyebrow. 

"You could... make love to me." Lex almost shuddered at what he'd said. 'Make love', not 'have sex'. 

Clark stared at him. "Wh... what do you mean?" 

"Clark, you're not naive. You do know gay people exist." 

Clark swallowed. Hard. "Yeah, but... you? Are you saying... you? You?" 

"I'm bisexual," Lex told him. "You know, twice as many chances for a date?" 

"But... but... how..." 

Lex was still sitting there looking at Clark, calm as you please. "How what?" 

"I never really thought of... I mean, the exact..." 

Lex smiled again. "Anal sex. You've heard of that, right?" 

"Where people..." Clark's handsome face screwed up. "Isn't that, you know... disgusting?" 

Lex threw up his hands - literally - and stood up. "Have it your way, Clark. I was just trying to help you." 

"I know. It's just... it's not disgusting?" 

"No, it's not. I could show you, if you'd let me. Then you wouldn't be a virgin anymore. Isn't that what you want?" 

Clark looked indecisive. He clearly wanted very much not to be a virgin, but he wasn't sure how doing that to Lex would make him feel. "What about our friendship?" 

"We'll always be friends, Clark. The stuff of legend and all that." 

Clark squared his shoulders. "What do I do?" 

Lex relaxed. "Follow me." 

* * *

Lex's bedroom was much less ostentatious than Clark had thought it would be. He'd expected mirrors on the ceiling, at the very least. 

It was almost as if Lex read his mind. "Looking for the mirrors?" he asked, pointing upwards. 

Clark blushed, and Lex smiled at him: a genuine smile, one that Clark saw far too little for his liking. 

"Look, Clark, let's not make this awkward, okay? You undress and get in the bed; I'll go clean up a bit in the bathroom." 

"Er... okay." 

Lex went into the en-suite bathroom. Stone by stone from Scotland, and yet somehow Luthor Senior had managed to rearrange things to his specifications. And he hadn't even wanted to live here! Clark undressed quickly, trying not to think. He knew that if he thought too much, he'd freak out and change his mind. 

Clark got into the bed and pulled the covers up over himself. He felt... like a virgin. Heh. 

He didn't have long to wait before Lex came out of the bathroom wearing a towel. He just smiled at Clark. "Are you nervous?" 

Clark let out a long sigh of relief. At least this wasn't going to be weird. "Are you kidding?" 

Lex grinned and pulled the covers down, discarding his towel on the floor. 

Clark stared at Lex. He'd expected that Lex would be hairless. He hadn't expected that he would be... beautiful. Even flaccid, his cock was gorgeous. And Lex had... muscles. Not farm boy, honest-day's-work muscles, but the I-work-to-have-these-muscles kind. Clark felt himself start to... harden. At the sight of Lex! It was scary. Clark thought of himself as straight; had agreed to this because he no longer wanted to be a virgin. He had never considered that he might find another man, well, attractive. And Lex definitely was. Lex was gorgeous. And sexy as hell. And Lex was... looking at him with amusement. Clark got defensive. "What?" 

"Can I get on the bed now?" Lex asked, still smiling. "Or do you want to look some more?" 

"I'm sorry," Clark said immediately, and moved over so that Lex could get in bed. 

Lex got on and sat next to Clark. "It's okay to look, you know. I bet you've seen guys naked a hundred times, but never really looked at any of them." 

Clark blushed. "Yeah." 

"What do you want to do now? It's your call, Clark." A short pause. "And we need to discuss the condom issue." Clark blushed even more, and Lex took pity on him. "It's no fun for your first time to have to be 'wrapped'," he said. "You should know that I'm fine. I could show you the test results if you need to see them." Lex waited, and Clark just shook his head quickly, still bright red. "And I know you're a virgin, so I think we're okay there. I'm willing to do it bareback." 

This got Clark to talk. "B... bareback?" He only knew the term from horse riding. 

"Naked. Unwrapped. No condom." Lex had a smile in his voice, though his face was serious. "But only if you want to, Clark. And only because it's your first time." 

Clark nodded. "I trust you, Lex." 

It was on the tip of Lex's tongue to reply, "Maybe you shouldn't," but he leaned over and kissed Clark instead. 

Clark was surprised, but he threw himself into the kiss wholeheartedly. Lex's mouth was soft and pliant, and... that was Lex's tongue! Clark opened his mouth, allowing the exploration. It felt completely different from kissing Lana or Chloe. Lana tended to be timid, exploring his mouth with little butterfly licks, while Chloe had been more assertive in her approach, kissing him as though she was trying to get inside him. Both girls' kisses had turned him on. But Lex... Lex was getting to _know_ him. Lex was kissing him as though this was his only chance to get to know Clark, and it felt to Clark like his tongue was everywhere. When Lex's tongue swept the roof of his mouth, Clark made a needy, squeaky sound he'd never made before, and pulled away, panting. 

"Too much?" Lex asked, smirking. 

"God, Lex." Clark wondered if he was having some sort of attack. He couldn't seem to get enough air. "Lex." He was so hard he felt like he'd explode. And he hadn't even really touched Lex yet. He stretched out his hands, then stopped short before he could touch his friend. He didn't know what was permitted and what wasn't. 

But Lex took his right hand and placed it against himself. "Touch me, Clark." 

With that, Clark was all over Lex. He touched and sniffed and licked and learned... When he finally surfaced for air, he found himself on top of Lex, their legs entwined, cocks together, holding tightly to one another. Clark scrambled away, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry." 

"Don't be, Clark. I'm not." 

"I just..." 

But Lex cut him off before he could say anything more. "That was some example of foreplay," Lex grinned. "But I'm starting to feel the pressure, and I know you are." He indicated Clark's penis, which hadn't flagged in the least. 

"Here." Lex handed him a tube of... something which he took out of the bedside table. "You need to use this, inside me. To prepare." As Clark looked at the tube, dumbfounded, Lex lay down with his knees up, legs spread. 

Clark moved towards him. "You..." He couldn't bring himself to say anymore. 

"Face to face is how you'd do it with Lana, right? So let's make it as close a facsimile as possible." 

This got through, and Clark smiled shyly. "You don't look anything like Lana, Lex." A beat. Then, "You're taller." They shared a smile, then Clark uncapped the tube, getting a good amount of lubrication on his fingers. "Inside?" 

"Yeah." 

Clark took a deep breath, and followed Lex's instruction. It felt weird, but it wasn't disgusting, as Lex had said it wouldn't be. Lex panted as Clark stretched him, trying to cooperate as best he could, trying to relax as much as possible. "Clark... see if you c... can find my prostate," he said. 

"The gland from health class?" Clark felt around with his middle finger. 

"Ah!" Lex arched up. "They didn't tell you... oh, God... every... everything about it," he said. 

From Lex's reaction, Clark deduced that his touching it gave his friend pleasure. So he did it again, to see that reaction again. And it was beautiful. But Lex's hand came around his wrist as he sat up awkwardly. "Stop now. Use the lube on yourself, then... fuck me." 

Clark removed his fingers and did as instructed. He had to think of meteor rocks and their effects in order not to come, he was so turned on. Then it was time. He got between Lex's legs. 

"Put my legs over your shoulders," Lex instructed. "Better angle." 

Clark did so, then moved against Lex. He stared down as his penis just touching Lex's hole. All he had to do was move a little, and he would no longer be a virgin. Lex flexed, and Clark gave in. He pushed experimentally, and began to slide inside. 

It felt... so, so good. And strange. And wonderful. "Come on, Clark," Lex said, and Clark pushed in some more, moving carefully but slowly, until he was all the way in. 

He just looked down, first at their joined bodies, then at Lex's face. "Lex." 

Lex looked... happy. It was a strange expression to see on his face. Clark felt the compulsion to move, to thrust, and so he did, slowly at first, and then faster and with more effort. The hands he'd had on Lex's upper calves came down onto the bed as he leaned over Lex, improving the angle, letting him give in to his instinct to just... fuck. And fuck Lex he did, faster and with more purpose. 

Lex's hand came up to cover his own penis, and they moved together in their sexual, sensual ballet. Clark could feel himself getting very close. "Lex, I..." 

"Do it, Clark." He sounded so needy, so desperate, so... _horny_ , that Clark did. 

"Lex! Oh!" Clark Kent came inside his best friend in four long, delicious spurts, remembering only at the last second not to collapse on top of him. He stayed suspended above him, his arms locked, gasping. 

Lex looked up at him. "D... don't move, Clark." His hand sped up slightly, then Lex looked right into Clark's eyes, and came. Clark watched the semen spurt onto Lex's neck and chest, felt the contractions around his own, spent, cock, and then Lex's legs fell from his shoulders. Clark used this opportunity to move away and collapse onto the bed next to Lex. 

They lay there for a while, just getting their breath back. Eventually, though, someone had to speak, and it came as no surprise to Clark that it was Lex. "So, do you feel different?" he asked, conversationally, as though they were discussing the weather. 

Clark was unable to look at Lex. He stared up at the ceiling instead. "Yeah, I guess." 

Lex rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. "You guess? What do you think that says about me?" 

Clark immediately turned to Lex to apologize, and realized his friend was teasing him. He just smiled. "I think it says more about me." 

Lex grew serious. "I hope it fulfilled your expectations, Clark. I'm sorry I couldn't have gotten Lana for you." 

"What?" Clark sat up. "That's silly! You gave me this... this amazing gift, and I'm grateful. I... thank you, Lex." 

"Beats a truck anytime, huh?" 

Clark had to laugh at that. "Yeah." 

"Well, my work here is done." Lex lay back down. 

They lay there for a while again in companionable silence. Eventually, though, Clark scrambled off the bed and began gathering his clothes. "My curfew is 10 p.m. on a school night," he said as he began dressing. 

"What time is it?" Lex asked, having taken off his watch. Clark had kept his on. 

"It's 11.15," answered Clark. 

"You missed curfew," Lex smiled. 

Clark finished buttoning up his flannel shirt. He looked at Lex from under his hair and shyly said, "You know what? I don't really care." 

* * *

Clark made up a story to tell his parents. Most of it was even true: hanging out with Lana was true; going over to Lex's was true; losing track of time was true. The only thing that wasn't true was what they'd been doing at Lex's. 

Clark's parents hardly questioned him about Lex anymore. His father didn't trust Lex - probably never would - but he did trust his son, and after a long while he'd come to realize that Clark saw Lex as a friend and would never betray that. So he didn't get grounded, but he did rate extra chores for the rest of the week. 

Clark figured that it was more than a fair trade. 

* * *

Clark wasn't his best at school the next day. He'd only fallen asleep around 2 a.m. because he'd been replaying his sexual experience over and over in his mind. It had been fantastic! It had been... perfect! He'd remembered how smooth Lex's skin had been... how hot and tight he'd been, inside. How Lex's kisses had almost made him come before they'd even gotten to the sex part. 

Clark continued to ponder this even as Chloe droned on and on about the latest candidate for the Wall of Weird. (Thank goodness some things never changed.) He pondered in English and gave a nonsensical answer to the teacher's question, making the other students laugh at him. He pondered all through every class till lunch. 

At lunch, Lana was there. Clark excused himself from Pete and Chloe and walked to a quiet corner with his former girlfriend. 

"Well?" Lana demanded. 

"Well what?" Clark frowned. _She'd_ broken up with _him_. 

"Aren't you going to apologize?" 

"What for?" 

"Clark, last night you said you'd only been trying to get into my pants. But I thought about it, and I know you didn't mean that. You couldn't have." 

"I didn't say that, Lana. You just thought that. I was... frustrated. I wanted to be with you. Is that such a bad thing?" 

Lana softened slightly at this. "No, it's not, Clark. But I can't give that to you. Not now. Maybe not for a long time. If you still want to go out, I'd like that. But you have to understand that this is my condition. I can't have sex with you." 

If he'd never had sex with Lex, Clark might have agreed. He'd had a crush on Lana for what seemed like forever. "I don't know," he finally said. "What would be the point of us going out? We're already friends. Maybe we should just leave it that way." 

Lana looked quite shocked. "I didn't say I didn't want you to kiss or touch me, Clark." 

Clark surprised himself by shaking his head. "It's too hard." 

"Are you punishing me?" 

"What?" 

"For not giving in. A girl has the right to say no. If you force me, even emotionally, that's still wrong." 

"I'm not punishing you, Lana. I just... there are all these hormones, and... we can blame this on the fact that I'm a sixteen year-old boy. I think you were right to break up with me, and I totally mean it when I say that I will always want to be your friend." 

Lana, as if realizing that Clark was not going to revert to being her boyfriend, seemed to deflate. "So that's it?" 

"I guess it is." 

"Fine." Lana left the cafeteria, a tear running down her cheek. 

Clark returned to sit with Pete and Chloe, knowing he'd be facing the Spanish Inquisition. 

* * *

The weekend passed, then Monday and Tuesday. Chloe and Pete gave him surprisingly little hassle about his breaking up with Lana. Pete even cornered him in the locker room (i.e. away from Chloe) to ask point blank if they'd broken up because Lana didn't want to have sex. Clark tried to stammer his way out of that one, but it was difficult because it happened to be true. Pete just clapped him on the shoulder and told him there were "other fish in the sea". 

And then Wednesday came. Clark waffled for almost an hour trying to decide whether to make the produce delivery to the mansion, or to ask his mother to do it. Finally he thought that he'd have to see Lex again sometime, and better sooner than later. 

Lex was in the study working when Clark popped his head around the door. "Hi, Lex." 

"Clark!" Lex's face lit up with welcome. "What's up? Produce?" 

"Yeah." 

Lex got up and tossed Clark some water. "You make up with Lana yet?" 

Clark relaxed when he realized things weren't going to be weird. "We broke up," he replied. "We're just friends again." 

"Why?" 

"She's not ready to have sex. She said we could still go out if I understood that." 

"And you want more now." It wasn't a question. 

"I just... What's the point of going out, waiting for something she might never give? I..." Clark ground abruptly to a halt. He'd been about to say that he could get it elsewhere, but that would be insulting to Lex, who'd done him a favour, given him a beautiful gift. 

"But you love her, Clark." Lex indicated for Clark to sit, then he sat as well... at a polite distance. 

"I had a crush on her. I thought I loved her, but..." He finally shrugged. "I don't know. She obviously doesn't love me. And I'm so _tired_ of waiting." 

"Waiting?" 

"For her to notice me. For her to want to be with me. For her to want _me_. And she doesn't. So even if I have to be alone, it's better than waiting for something that will never happen." 

"She could still change her mind." 

"No. I have to face it. Lana and I aren't meant to be. We just aren't. And if that means I have to be alone, then I'll be alone. It's too painful otherwise." 

"I could help you get through the pain." 

Clark looked at Lex, but his friend was looking down, probably to avoid Clark's look of rejection. But Clark wasn't going to reject this offer. Hadn't he decided to deliver the produce for this very reason? There was a thought. _Had_ he? "I didn't come here for that, Lex." A long pause. "At least, I didn't think that's why I was coming here." 

"Your motivations don't matter right now, Clark," Lex answered. He scooted a bit closer. "At this moment, right here, do you want to do it again?" 

"Oh, God, yes," said Clark, and kissed him. 

They ended up lying fully-clothed on Lex's bed, kissing almost desperately. Every time Clark's mouth was free, all he seemed able to say was Lex's name. Lex, meanwhile, was unbuttoning flannel and denim, and trying to get his own clothes off at the same time. 

"Lex... oh God," Clark said as Lex's hand cupped his genitals through the cloth, then pulled it away and insinuated his hand under Clark's underwear. "Do it to me," Clark said as Lex touched his naked cock. 

The hand was immediately withdrawn, and all activity stopped. Lex moved away from Clark, who sat up, confused. 

They both looked... debauched. Clark's shirt was undone, but he had a T-shirt beneath it. Lex's shirt was unbuttoned only halfway down, but his pants were unzipped. Clark's erection was peeping out of his jeans. 

"What did you say?" Lex asked. 

"Do it to _me_ ," Clark repeated. 

"No." And Lex was off the bed, buttoning his shirt up. Suddenly, Clark was in front of him. At any other time, Lex might have asked how Clark had done that, but not this time. "Clark, there is no way that I can ever agree to do that to you." 

Clark grew angry. "Why not? I did it to you!" 

"I'd done it before. I was letting you lose your virginity in a way that was as close to doing it with Lana as you could get. This isn't the same. In no way, shape or form is it the same." 

"But I want it," Clark persisted. 

"No you don't. You want to forget Lana. And you can use me for that. I owe you my life, Clark. But this... it'd be taking another kind of virginity. I can't do that. And you can't ask me." 

When Lex got that "I'm a Luthor don't fuck with me" look on his face, Clark knew better than to argue. "All right. Let's do it like last time." 

Clark made love to Lex again, with more assurance this time, and he lasted slightly longer. Lex came at almost the same time as Clark did, and they snuggled together for a brief nap. At least it was afternoon and Clark had already done his chores. 

* * *

"Clark?" Martha Kent smiled at her handsome son, who was sitting at the computer humming a tune by... could it actually be Celine Dion? 

"Yeah, Mom?" Clark answered without even looking up. 

"Things going well between you and Lana?" 

"Huh?" Now Clark did look up. "Actually, no. We broke up." 

"Broke... Sweetie, I'm sorry." 

Clark shrugged. "It's not a big deal. We weren't meant for each other anyway." 

"Did you break up over sex?" Martha had always believed that straight talk was important, and she and Jonathan had always done their best to talk to their son without things like embarrassment affecting what they said. 

"Mom!" 

"Clark, men and women aren't wired up the same way. If she's not ready, you have to respect that. Breaking up with her because of sex is very shallow." 

"She broke up with me," said Clark. "And yeah, it was because of... that. But she said it wasn't fair to me to make me wait. She said she didn't know how long it would be." 

"And do you think it's fair on her?" 

Clark logged off abruptly and pushed back from the counter. "It was her decision, Mom!" 

"Maybe it's in both of your best interests to wait. If you rush into sex, you might not get to experience how wonderful it truly can be when you're with someone who cares about you." 

At this, Clark blushed bright, bright red. It made Martha suspicious. 

"Clark...?" 

"Mom, can we not talk about this?" 

But Martha had figured something out. "Who was it, Clark? Chloe?" 

"It wasn't Chloe! It wasn't any girl! I never did that with any of them, okay?" Way to lie without actually lying. 

"I won't be mad, honey. You can tell me." A long pause, then Martha drew in a deep breath. "Clark, you didn't... force anybody, did you?" 

"Geez, Mom! Of course not! You don't even trust me!" And he was out the door, running at superspeed away from the farm. 

Jonathan came in from outside. "Was that Clark?" 

"Did you know Clark and Lana broke up?" 

"No." 

"Well, they did. Apparently over sex." Martha stopped, wondering if she should voice her suspicions. "I think Clark has had sex with someone." 

"Lana?" 

"He says no. He was quite emphatic about it." 

This was quite a turnaround, but it was Jonathan's turn to be the reasonable one. "Maybe we should trust our son, Martha. He knows the risks: both those for normal people, and those for himself alone. We've had the talk. Maybe... he'll come to us when he's ready. I mean, Martha... Did you tell your parents the first time you had sex?" 

"Jonathan! Of course not!" 

"Me neither. I think this might be the one thing Clark has to get through on his own." 

Martha shrugged. "Maybe you're right." 

* * *

Clark came out of superspeed at the mansion. Lex was inside, in the study as usual. Clark wondered why he was here. Because of his mother? Lana? He had been thinking about Lex, and what they had done, all morning. He had a suspicion that he'd been humming "Because You Loved Me" while it ran through his head. But of course, that was a fallacy. Lex didn't love him. Not _that_ way, anyway. They'd had sex twice, and Clark wanted to do it again. The scary thing was, he knew Lex would do anything for him. He wondered if he could stop himself from taking advantage of Lex's friendship. Was this pull he was feeling the result of finally getting to do the deed, or was it something more? Clark knew he'd never get answers standing outside. 

He poked his head round the door to Lex's study, expecting to see him hard at work on some Very Important Business. But Lex was staring out the window, a dreamy look on his face. "Lex?" 

That roused him. "Oh. Hi, Clark." 

"My mother found out that Lana and I broke up." Lex opened his mouth to reply to that, but Clark spoke again before he had a chance. "And then she made some comments about sex, and asked me who I'd had sex with." 

Lex frowned. Clark knew it was out of concern only. "And what did you tell her?" 

"I said I didn't have sex with any girls." 

"Which you didn't." 

Clark stood in front of the desk and looked down at his friend. "I... I liked what we did, Lex. I really did." He stopped short of saying more. 

Lex heard the unspoken words anyway. "And you'd like to do it some more." 

Clark blushed and looked down, but nodded. "I know it's not fair to you, to have to deal with my teenage hormones." 

Lex got up and came around the desk, seating himself on its edge in front of Clark. He looked up into those green eyes. "It's not a burden, Clark. I get something out of it, too, you know." 

The green eyes went darker, almost emerald, as Lex's words sank in. "So... we could do it some more?" 

"Sure we could. We could do some other stuff, too." 

"Like what?" 

"Come on." Lex pushed himself off the desk and walked to the couch, indicating to Clark to come to him. "I'll show you." 

* * *

If, when Lex had arrived at the crap factory, someone had told him that within a year he'd be sucking the dick of a local farm boy, he'd have asked them what they'd been drinking. But here he was, between Clark's legs in his own study, giving Clark the blowjob of his life. 

"Lex! Oh my God!" seemed to be the only words that Clark was capable of saying that the moment. He was repeating them over and over as Lex showed him that he wasn't only good at business deals. 

Eventually, Clark lay back on the couch after coming and just stared at Lex through those incredibly long eyelashes. "Wow." He watched as Lex swallowed visibly for effect. "Wow." 

Lex sat back on his heels and smiled. "At least you know more than four words," he teased. But before he could say anything else, Clark was on top of him, pushing him flat on the floor and unzipping his slacks. Lex was shocked at this, and began to push at Clark, ineffectually. "No, Clark." He tried to get up, but one hand kept him from moving. "NO!" he said, more forcefully, squirming as Clark popped the button on his slacks and drew his penis from his underwear. "Clark, dammit, I said no!" 

At this, Clark seemed to listen, but he didn't move his hand from Lex's chest. "Why not?" 

"You don't have to do that, Clark." 

"What if I want to? Why can't I do it?" 

Lex took a deep breath, with slight difficulty as Clark's hand was pressing down on him. "Because you're not gay, Clark." 

Clark considered for a moment. "And how do you know this?" 

"The lovely Miss Lang." 

"She doesn't want me." 

"Clark..." Lex tried once again to sit up, but Clark still refused to budge. 

"No, Lex. I don't know what I am, but it doesn't matter. I want to do this. I want to make you feel pleasure the way you made me feel pleasure." And with that, he bent his head and took Lex into his mouth. 

"Ah! God! Clark!" Lex banged his head on the floor as he lay back down too quickly. 

It wasn't the most expert of blowjobs, but Clark made up for lack of technique in enthusiasm: Lex felt his tongue seemingly everywhere at once, then a wonderful suction, then more tongue action... Clark's hand stroked the part of Lex that didn't quite fit into his mouth, and Lex had no choice but to lie back and... He opened his eyes just a little and looked. That was enough. Clark's gorgeous mouth was wrapped around him, but his eyes... They were looking right into Lex's. Clark looked... happy. Satisfied. As Lex watched, they crinkled at the edges as Clark saw him watching, and Lex gasped Clark's name and came. He even forgot to warn Clark, who didn't look at all perturbed by Lex's semen flowing into his mouth. Clark just let it happen, then pulled back, smiled, and swallowed. Once. It was one of the most beautiful things Lex had ever seen, and he collapsed back onto the floor, mindful of his head this time. 

He didn't expect Clark to wrap himself around him on the mansion floor, but that's what he got. When his breathing got back to a manageable level, Lex asked, "So?" 

"I liked doing it, Lex," Clark answered. "I liked it so much." 

"Well, then I'm glad." 

"I'm gonna want to do it again." 

Lex lifted his head, but Clark had his head firmly planted on Lex's shoulder and Lex couldn't get eye contact. "I'll see what I can do to accommodate you," he replied. 

* * *

With the advent of lots of sex with Lex, Clark did feel different. He felt... more mature, in some ways. He learned to recognize sexual attraction much easier, and he learned how to flirt. He also noticed Lana looking at him speculatively more and more often. Too bad, lady. You had your chance. 

Clark would go over to Lex's place once or twice a week (more would have looked suspicious) and they would have spectacular, fulfilling sex. They gave each other blowjobs, and Clark's technique improved quickly. They gave each other handjobs. There was a little frottage. They even sixty-nined on the carpet in Lex's bathroom. And Clark fucked Lex. The only thing Lex refused to do was return the favour. No matter how much Clark nagged him, Lex remained steadfast on that one issue. Any questions Clark asked about it were responded to with the by now rote answer: "You're not gay, Clark." 

But Clark was beginning to wonder if he wasn't gay after all. Having had a man, having had an extremely fine specimen of a man, Clark noticed himself looking at the other guys in his class. He found himself comparing them with Lex - who always came out best, of course. But occasionally, he'd wonder what it would be like to... do things with some of them. He knew he never would, but... that didn't mean he couldn't look or wonder. Sometimes he even used his x-ray vision to spy on the football players in the locker room. And thinking of Lana didn't do much for him anymore. 

Lana. He'd thought she'd find another boyfriend quite quickly - she was, after all, supernaturally beautiful. But she didn't. Instead, Lana threw herself into the Talon with even more zeal than usual. Clark still made himself available to help out, and he still had to deal with meteor-mutants on an almost daily basis, but now he was seldom around at the end of the day. And because he was happy and fulfilled, it didn't once occur to him that Lana missed him. 

* * *

Clark was - supposedly - doing his homework up in the barn when Lana came in. They had a couple of classes together, and sometimes they helped each other out, but since the breakup they hadn't been as close as before. It was natural, that. But now Lana came in, bold as you please. "Clark, we have to talk." 

"Sure." Clark put his books aside and tried to look attentive, as though he hadn't just been drawing Lex's name in his notebook with little hearts around it. 

"I'm thinking I made a mistake." Lana was always straightforward, which was one thing Clark continued to admire about her. 

"What kind of a mistake?" 

"Breaking up with you." As Clark moved to speak, she held up her hand. "Just hear me out, okay? I've always been the girl in the princess costume, Clark. We both know it. And somewhere, that became me. I've managed to get away from it in some ways, but I guess I internalized the old-world view that a woman had to be a virgin until she got married. I really wanted that, and I didn't even know I wanted it." 

"Lana..." 

"It wasn't conscious, but I felt that if you truly loved me, you'd at least ask me to marry you first." She paused, smiling ruefully at herself. "It's silly, I know. But I think I'm ready to move past that now, Clark. With you." 

Clark honestly didn't know what to say. His dream had been handed to him on a silver platter. Shouldn't he be... excited? Happy? A part of him _was_ glad that Lana had seen the light, but the rest of him was wondering how to get away from her. 

"I want you, Clark." Lana knelt down in front of his old couch and put her hands on his knees. "Kiss me." 

Clark leaned down, and kissed her. Her mouth was warm and tasted vaguely of strawberry lip gloss. And that was all. She was leaning up and putting her arms around him, drawing him closer to her, and all Clark could think of was that Lex tasted infinitely better. 

Clark broke away. "No, Lana." 

"You don't have to punish me anymore, Clark. I'm here; you can have me." 

"No." Clark got up and backed away, leaving Lana sitting on the floor. "Lana, I can't do this. I'm sorry." 

Her pretty face scrunched up in confusion. "Why not? I don't understand." 

"I know you don't, and I can't really explain. I think... I might be in love with someone else." 

"Chloe?" 

"No, no Chloe. I'm sorry, but you have to go now, Lana." Clark said it regretfully, as Lana nodded to herself just once, then got up. 

As she passed him, she stopped and look up, her eyes burning into his. "I hope you do find love," she said. "Don't make the mistake I did by throwing it away on a whim." 

All Clark could do was nod as she made her way down the stairs. There was nothing he wanted more now than to see Lex. But he had to get permission from his mother first, because it was a school night. He'd have to think of a really good excuse, because he was planning to stay over. 

* * *

Lex drove to the mansion from the Kent farm, wondering just when his entire body had gone numb. He'd needed to change something on the produce order, and had used that as an excuse to come by in person and see Clark. What he'd seen instead had been Clark kissing Lana Lang. Without thought, he'd turned away. 

Lex pulled up at the mansion. He tried telling himself that he'd always known that Clark wanted Lana, that he was doing all this for Clark. But Clark had made love to him just two days ago, and he hadn't said a word about getting back together with the girl! Clark had to be using him. Lex snorted to himself as he entered the mansion. He'd been used before and no doubt would be again; he'd just thought that Clark was... different. 

Different. Oh God. He'd told himself that he was just helping Clark, and getting off at the same time. But Clark _was_ different. Clark had made a space for himself in Lex's heart. Lex suspected that it wasn't even a recent thing. Most likely it had happened when Clark breathed life back into him on the riverbank that day. He'd always wanted to be around Clark, to help Clark... and yes, some of it was gratitude for a life returned to him, but mostly it was because he loved the young man, loved him so much that he felt like his heart was honestly breaking. He could barely feel his body, but he could feel his heart shattering into millions of tiny pieces. 

Lex made it into his study by leaning on the walls, and took out his cellphone, his hands shaking so badly that he misdialed his valet even on speed-dial. "I'm going back to Metropolis," he said into the phone once the line was picked up. "Pack the necessary things." 

A voice on the other end seemed to be asking things. How long, when... he wasn't sure. "Forever," he said, disconnecting and falling into the chair behind the desk. 

Then a voice at the door startled him. "You're going back to Metropolis, Lex?" 

Clark stood there, looking shell-shocked. 

Lex tried to school his voice into its customary sarcastic tone. It didn't work. "I... I have to, Clark. I... I just have to." He rubbed a hand over his face; realized it was still shaking. 

"Why?" 

"Don't ask me that," Lex said. "It's over; let it go." 

"You're shaking. Lex, we don't have to have sex again if you don't want to. Just don't leave." Clark looked as though he wanted to come to him, but was forcing himself to stay on the other side of the desk. "I'm sorry, Lex. I should never have forced you to do that for me." 

Lex laughed; a bitter, angry, sad sound. "Right, Clark. It was all for you. Never mind that I got to be with the only person I've ever truly loved. Never mind that making love with you was the most perfect thing in my life. Never mind that I love you so much I feel like I'm about to explode and join my heart in little pieces on the floor. Never mind any of that." 

Clark looked shocked, but also confused. "You love me?" 

Lex drew himself up a little and tried to calm the tremors. "It doesn't matter, Clark. Go and be with Lana." 

"I don't want to be with Lana, Lex." 

"But I saw you kissing her earlier, in the barn." 

"Oh, Lex." Now Clark did come around the desk. He sat on the edge and put his hands on Lex's shoulders, persisting even when Lex wouldn't look at him. "She kissed me. She wanted to get back together, but I told her no." 

"There's still time to change your mind, then, if you go now." 

"Lex, I don't want Lana. I don't love Lana. I don't love Chloe, or Sasha or Jody or Pete, okay! I love _you_." 

Lex did look up this time. "You love me?" 

"Yes! I, Clark Kent, love you, Lex Luthor. And I'm gay. But that doesn't matter, because I just want you." 

The shaking lessened, but it didn't stop. "You want me?" 

"When Lana kissed me and said she'd sleep with me, do you know what I was thinking? I was thinking that I would never be unfaithful to you. I want to be with you, Lex." 

"I love you, Clark." Lex looked into those deep eyes, leaning upwards as Clark leaned down. 

Their lips met. This time, the kiss wasn't passionate or desperate, it was sweet and tender and loving. When it ended, Clark smiled at him. "I want us to be together. And I want you to make love to me. I want you to be inside me. I really want that." 

Lex swallowed and replied, "I want that too, Clark." 

* * *

When Lex entered him, Clark felt complete. In fact, he felt like a huge cliche, but there it was. He lay on his side, Lex behind him, holding Lex to him with one hand on his waist. He wanted to do it this way, wanted to do it in a way that wasn't reminiscent of the 'Lana stand-in' days. And it felt so good. 

Lex was finally making love to Clark the way he'd wanted to almost from the beginning. It was perfect, and when he started to come inside Clark, it was almost as though Clark felt even the smallest spurts, and he called Lex's name and came as well. 

They lay together the whole night, wrapped in each other. 

Lex drifted back to consciousness in the early morning with the awareness that somebody was watching him. He couldn't help smiling when he opened his eyes to see the person he loved. "Clark?" 

"I love you, Lex." 

"I love you." 

"And I trust you. I want to tell you my secrets now." 

Lex just lay there happily. He'd figured out most of it already, including why Clark had felt compelled to lie to everyone he knew. But he loved Clark, and knowing Clark's secrets would just make him happier. 

"Tell me, Clark," Lex said. "I love you. I want to know." 

**THE END**


End file.
